February 16, 2002
4:22pm

I know, I know. I've been a very bad blogger. It's been so long since I've last written that you probably thought I had abandoned this site. To tell you the truth, there wouldn't have been much to say even if I had written.

I have been suffering through one of my customary bouts of exteme apathy. I think this is just the reaction I have when things become routine. My world has been a blur of work, school, and sleep deprivation. I've given myself the goal of creating a painting a week in order to prepare for my senior show. It hasn't been easy. Rushing the creative process produces much frustration.

Because I'm doing my senior project this year, I've earned my own corner in the school's painting studio. My section of the wall is decorated with studies for this semester's paintings. I managed to create a table out of two sawhorses and a piece of plywood so I have lots of room for supplies. I bought a bath stand as a place to keep my rags, paints, turpentine, and other dangerously flammable things. I even have a mirror there because most of my work this semester contains self-portraits and I get tired of trying to remember what I look like. (It may sound funny to forget what you look like, but I challenge you to draw yourself without looking. It's easy to end up with a portrait of someone else.) It's a pretty nice place to work, which is good because I'm there all night, every night.

I also have very interesting neighbors in the studio. There's Sam, who's autobiographical paintings incorporate strange cartoon imagery. Sara combines images from the media to create ambiguous yet intriguing scenes. Rob likes to create multimedia drawings about African heritage and the plight of African-Americans. Gary makes colorful, funky abstract art based on human anatomy. Meredith is involved with body gestures and disturbing sexual imagery (but I may only see it that way because I'm sexually repressed) . There's even a guy who makes art based on cracks in the road (which sounds stupid, but it actually looks pretty cool). Everyone's nice and quite funny (except for Meredith, who appears to be a little more serious than the others). It's nice to be able to ask for their advice when a project has me stumped (especially Meredith, who always has an opinion). However, since the only time I'm available to work is at night, I'm usually alone. There's often just me, my headphones, and the canvas.

Last weekend I drove down to a tiny, middle of nowhere town in southern Ohio called Bellefontaine. A multi-state campus ministry retreat was being held at a YMCA camp there. I honestly didn't think I'd have much fun, but I was wrong. I think it turned me around spiritually and helped me to begin shrinking off my apathy. I also met a nice girl named Shilin (pronounced SHY-lin). I could tell she was artsy from the moment I met her. She had on a black shirt and dark oval glasses that made her look like some kind of beatnik. Even her speech and mannerisms were very...chic Seattle coffee house-like. It turns out she is also a Fine Arts major, but her concentration is printmaking. We had so much in common that we hit it off right away. I hope we can manage to keep in touch. Keeping in touch is so hard to do, even in this age of faxes, e-mails, and instant messages.

My mother and her friend Deloris came to church this past Sunday. Trying to get my mother to church has been a big source of frustration for the past two years, but it finally happened. It seems kind of anti-climactic now because I'm in a "well, now what?" kind of phase. However, at least she's showing some curiosity about the church. It's a start.