June 17, 2002
12:18 p.m.

Yesterday I went to visit the Bartels, a couple from my church that Sherri is staying with for the summer. They have a spacious home located on the top of a steep hill in a nice neighborhood. I think the word that describes it best is tidy. Amazingly, everything is always in its aesthetically-pleasing place, even with children in the house.

The Bartels have had to adjust to their new life pretty fast. Just a few months ago they decided to adopt a child. (I know they travelled to Europe for the adoption, though I can't remember the specific country. They spoke Russian there, but the country wasn't Russia.) That's where they met little Sam, who was living in the sad conditions of a poorly funded orphanage. There weren't enough people on staff to watch all the children and they could only afford one meal a day. Needless to say, Sam is malnourished. Although he is six, he's the height and weight of a three-year-old.

While they were in the process of adopting Sam, the Bartels found out they were pregnant. They had a son, whom they named Evan, shortly after Sam came to live with them. They went from being alone to having two children within the span of a few months.

Sam is a delightful child. He always has a huge cartoon-like smile on his face. He loves being with people. He hugs everyone and treats complete strangers as if they were his best friends. It's impossible not to love him. He's so friggin' cute that people feel the need to give him things for free. The family can never go to a store without people giving him something. Evan, of course, is too young to have much of a personality yet. He only does infant things like cry and throw up on people. He's a pretty cranky baby, too. However, he's cute in the way all babies are cute.

Their life seemed like a Norman Rockwell painting yesterday. Mark was sleeping on the couch with the baby in his arms. Laura and Sam were baking a homemade strawberry pie (Well, it was really more like Laura calling her mother for culinary advice while Sam played in the flour.). A warm spring breeze spread through the house, carrying with it the sound of children playing up the street. It was so relaxing, so perfect. Of course I know that it's not always like that. Having two kids can be hectic for anyone. But at that point in time it was serene and idyllic.

All afternoon I thought, "This is how I want my life to be." I want the sweet husband and the fun kids with the nice house in the friendly neighborhood. I wonder if they know that they have the life I sit in my lonely apartment and dream about. I'd take it with all the troubles it entails. I'd take it just for moments like that one.

The thing I like best about the Bartels is that they make me feel better about myself, especially Laura. She and I are alike in that neither of us are very girly or maternal. We're just ordinary women. Yet she has a husband and kids; all the things I worry that I'll never have. Perhaps there's hope for me after all.