August 21, 2001
2:31pm

It has been another productive day. I'm a few steps closer to preparing for my big move. The biggest task still ahead, though. I haven't packed anything.

Being the big procrastinator I am, I'm very tempted to leave it to the last minute. It seems so daunting. How do you pack everything you own? During previous moves to dorm rooms, my mother's house has always been a safe place to store my things. Now she wants me to move everything out because I'll be gone for a year. She has been waiting patiently for the past few months, waiting to invade my room with decorating delight. She cheerfully tells me all the things my room can be turned into. A game room, a den, a guest bedroom... She pours over decorating books and furniture ads, looking for inspiration, looking for whatever is needed to completely erase my existence from the house. I must say I'm a little miffed. I'm not bothered by her plans to convert my room into something else; I'm just upset that she does it with so much glee. It's like she's not going to miss me at all.

Anyway, she's agreed to help me move. I'm not sure how it's going to go. My mother isn't a very useful mover. She complains when she has to carry things. She acts like she's going to have a heart attack if she must climb stairs. I usually end up carrying everything while she stays in the room unpacking and sorting. However, the more help, the better I suppose. At least my friend Nick volunteered to help. You know you have a good friend when he or she volunteers to help you move.

I'm glad I have these moving and school preparations. They have served as distractions from issues I don't feel equipped to deal with right now. I have thrown myself into the moving process, choosing to believe that if I can get it all sorted out by next week everything will be alright. I will be moved, unpacked, and school will have started. I will have money to pay my debts and be able to start saving again. I will have nothing binding me to my old pattern of self-pity. My life will no longer be transitory, but have a rebirth. This new school year will be a fresh start.